1
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:31,910
Mm -hmm.

2
00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:34,880
Yes, I know.

3
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,110
So how many burners do they have in the
community centre kitchen?

4
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:40,990
Hmm.

5
00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:45,090
Well, I assume there is, but we've never
done hot food before.

6
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,140
Well, can you call in on your way back?

7
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:51,400
Oh, and try the oven.

8
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:53,190
Yeah.

9
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,150
Bill, are you there?

10
00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:58,800
Coming! Rona, can you call me back?

11
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,220
Can anybody hear me? I'm coming!

12
00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:06,569
No!

13
00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:10,100
I forgot my keys!

14
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,640
David! David,

15
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:15,890
get down here!

16
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,360
Why are you on the floor?

17
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,000
Open the front door!

18
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,680
Why? Open it!

19
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,640
Hi. Hi, Dad.

20
00:01:26,641 --> 00:01:27,639
Where's your mum?

21
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:28,690
On the floor.

22
00:01:39,411 --> 00:01:42,409
think of? I thought you were out.

23
00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:43,789
There must have been another way.

24
00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:47,069
I could hardly go next door and ask to
go through the back, could I? No,

25
00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:49,240
you broke into their house three weeks
ago.

26
00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:52,769
It wasn't that. It's because we left
them tied up for 48 hours trying to dial

27
00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:56,500
with a pencil in their mouth. Oh, the
sticky blaster came loose eventually.

28
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:14,720
Yeah, I'm just trying to part her legs
with a fish slice.

29
00:02:46,191 --> 00:02:47,979
What junction box?

30
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:51,799
Outside the bedroom window. You can see
where the wire comes out. Oh, this is so

31
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,850
frustrating!

32
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,170
Well, I could... No!

33
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:58,060
If Pelican know you've touched it, they
refuse to mend it.

34
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,600
This is our biggest job. I need the
phone.

35
00:03:01,601 --> 00:03:05,439
Look, if you really want to help, go and
ring the engineers again.

36
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,490
All right.

37
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:08,730
What's this?

38
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,970
Oh, David's been bringing them home and
hiding them up.

39
00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:22,600
Not a son of mine.

40
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:24,540
A metalhead.

41
00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:27,130
Well, you saw that thing he was wearing.

42
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,320
Yeah, but I thought it was just a
transvestite. This is sick.

43
00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:32,920
Ben.

44
00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:35,110
You forgot your key.

45
00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:44,460
OK,

46
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:48,629
so we grill the chicken peakers while
the pies heat up, then serve them with

47
00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:51,340
dips? No, we need the oven next. for
garlic bread.

48
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,200
We need something else to grill.

49
00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:56,679
Sausages? No, someone has to be in there
to turn them every few minutes.

50
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,359
You'll be in there?

51
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,220
No, I'll be passing around the takers.

52
00:03:59,221 --> 00:04:02,339
Christine can pass around the takers.
She'll be getting out the pies.

53
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:05,040
No, bringing back the tartlets. Oh,
you're right.

54
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,290
I know.

55
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:10,979
What if we tenderise the takers when the
tartlets return, move back the

56
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:13,839
munchies, stick on the sausages while we
pop in the pies?

57
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:18,619
Listen, Danny Kaye, whichever way you
put it, we need another person that we

58
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:19,670
can't afford.

59
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,820
Unless we had any other ideas for sale
briefs.

60
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:56,369
Exercising about marrying someone, you
try writing your name only with his

61
00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:58,790
surname, just to see what it looks like.

62
00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:00,200
Yes.

63
00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:02,670
Well, I was just doing that.

64
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:04,250
Only with babies.

65
00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:06,220
What?

66
00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:13,709
I just wanted to see what one would look
like if I had one with

67
00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:14,760
somebody.

68
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,240
See?

69
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,770
Cruz's chin, Mickey Rourke's eyes.

70
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,070
And Bruce Willis's hair.

71
00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,330
It's not a joke. Well, what is it then?

72
00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:30,150
I want to have one.

73
00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:32,790
Before it's too late.

74
00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:35,070
Have you told Rob, Tom and Mickey?

75
00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:39,010
I knew it. I knew you'd laugh at me.

76
00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:41,270
Well, it's all right for you.

77
00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:44,730
You're not single with your biological
clock ticking.

78
00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:47,350
Well, I'm sorry.

79
00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:48,660
I understand.

80
00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:50,160
It's just, um...

81
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:53,130
What I mean is... Who?

82
00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:55,440
Don't worry.

83
00:05:55,441 --> 00:05:58,269
I'm not going to embarrass everybody
with another wedding.

84
00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,750
I'm going to a sperm bank.

85
00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:05,230
And you're going to say, have you got
any donors that look like this?

86
00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:07,220
Why not?

87
00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:09,350
Well, it's silly.

88
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:14,049
No, it isn't. You can choose the
characteristics of the donor. That's not

89
00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:15,100
what I mean.

90
00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:18,630
Rona, a father's more than just a sperm.

91
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:33,230
Talk about this after the job.

92
00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:35,790
Did you ring telecom?

93
00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:38,929
Yeah, the phone box was broken. I had to
go away to home care. And? They can't

94
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:39,829
come till Saturday.

95
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:42,290
The job's on Saturday. I need a phone.

96
00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:44,189
Close your eyes and hold out your hands.

97
00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:45,750
Close yours and undo your flies.

98
00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:47,820
Bought my surprise.

99
00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:49,380
A mobile.

100
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:52,530
Yeah, it's Brian's. Met him in home care
by the formica.

101
00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:54,490
He said you could borrow it.

102
00:06:54,491 --> 00:06:57,149
Every bill shows all the calls so you
can pay him for the ones you make.

103
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,200
And Tina won't mind?

104
00:06:58,810 --> 00:06:59,860
No, probably not.

105
00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:02,859
I should be going.

106
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:05,660
Burrow. I've got to get to the bank
before it closes.

107
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,550
Wheat Bank.

108
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,640
The Bank Bank.

109
00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:17,759
What does she mean, the Bank Bank? Oh,
that's the least of our worries. I don't

110
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,870
care about your stupid football. Oh,
Jane.

111
00:07:19,871 --> 00:07:23,159
Look, if you'd rather kick a stupid ball
about than see me, well, I can't stop

112
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,750
you. Oh, come on, it's only once. That's
how it starts.

113
00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:28,110
Well, as far as I'm concerned, it's
over.

114
00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:58,250
You're, um, free on Saturday, then.

115
00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:14,150
We're back.

116
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,880
Hello?

117
00:08:21,850 --> 00:08:23,550
What is it you want to tell me?

118
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:49,800
I think so.

119
00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,220
It's Saturday.

120
00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:53,400
Oh, no.

121
00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:57,790
I've got to pick up the bread and call
Rona and load up the car.

122
00:08:57,791 --> 00:09:01,409
Bill. And the sausages have to be cut up
and put on the tray. And I have to...

123
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:08,230
Phone the bride's mother and make sure
she gets the kids.

124
00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:09,950
This is the job.

125
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,510
No, it isn't.

126
00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:12,980
More than that.

127
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:14,560
The job.

128
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,310
What do you mean, the job?

129
00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:20,750
The job that shows me whether this is
the right thing for me to be doing.

130
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,300
I don't know how to explain.

131
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:26,479
Look, it's just you and some other women
doing what they always do.

132
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:27,530
Only as a business.

133
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,070
Is it?

134
00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:31,630
Isn't it?

135
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:38,040
Ben, am I kidding myself? This is what I
want to do with my life.

136
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,900
Look, you can do it.

137
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,140
a few of them out there now.

138
00:09:57,141 --> 00:10:00,259
Christine, take these in straight away,
will you? I'm still fiddling with my

139
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:01,520
penny. Now, please.

140
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,800
I don't need the money, you know. I'm
only doing this because I'm nice

141
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:11,020
Yes, and Michael Jackson's got a skin
condition.

142
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,330
More coming in.

143
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,320
Jenny, take this one in, will you?

144
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,020
Last Saturday, I had a life.

145
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,299
This Saturday, my mother's got me piping
off Romanian Acides Vermante, a

146
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:24,260
champagne. Oh, God. Rona, will you get
the other bottle?

147
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,100
watching out there?

148
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,330
I don't know.

149
00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:34,830
She's wearing yellow.

150
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:37,770
Are you really serious about this?

151
00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:39,230
Why shouldn't I be?

152
00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:43,490
I don't know. Just thought it might be
one of your whims.

153
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:47,990
What do you mean one of my whims? I
don't have whims.

154
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,240
What?

155
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:53,530
Nothing. Just that usually when it's
that time.

156
00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:54,980
What time?

157
00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,120
You know.

158
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,940
Well, they're... But tomorrow morning
they'll wake up feeling like Ceausescu.

159
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:02,610
As he is now.

160
00:11:02,611 --> 00:11:04,099
Well, how many more do we need?

161
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:07,650
I don't know. Can't we hand out the
bottles and let them fight for it? No!

162
00:11:07,651 --> 00:11:11,119
If I wanted to balance classes all day,
I would have become a performing bloody

163
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,170
seal.

164
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,580
Oh, that's fine.

165
00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:16,700
No, she's always like that. Is she?

166
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,450
I think she's had her hormones taken out
and replaced with metal ones.

167
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,300
your life in Japan saving dolphins.

168
00:11:30,301 --> 00:11:33,399
By the end of the week, you were back to
saying flippers should be minced up and

169
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,410
made into cat food if you didn't stop
that stupid squeaking.

170
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:37,930
I meant well.

171
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,999
You're getting like my doctor. You go in
there with an axe embedded in your

172
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,950
chest. He says, oh, that's just PMT.
I'll give you some value.

173
00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:45,230
You're lucky.

174
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,320
My doctor's never even heard of PMT.

175
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:51,330
Probably thinks it's the anti -lock
braking system on a Vauxhall Senate.

176
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,050
Well, at least my PMT doesn't make me
snap at everybody.

177
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,160
I don't snap at everybody.

178
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:58,690
Mum!

179
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,340
Don't shout at me. I can't help it.

180
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:02,870
I'm sorry.

181
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,070
What's the matter?

182
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,879
I nearly slipped through the tray.

183
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:06,899
It's all right.

184
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:10,179
It's a polished floor and I'm wearing
these stupid shoes. Don't worry. Just

185
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:13,180
relax. You'll be fine. One more left.
Off you go. I'm sorry.

186
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:15,660
Is that how she gets?

187
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,960
Yes. Oh, I don't know. It's all so
confusing.

188
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:23,239
Look, just trust me on this. See if you
feel the same way at the end of the

189
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,160
week. I suppose so. And I will try not
to snap, deal?

190
00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:33,230
Now let's just keep calm, concentrate on
the job in hand.

191
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,610
I'll take these.

192
00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:16,070
What's the matter?

193
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:19,260
I know everyone thinks I'm a bit of a
joke.

194
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,310
and I know what he wants.

195
00:17:57,230 --> 00:18:00,360
with all this crap. They'll probably be
divorced by Christmas.

196
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:52,639
Arsenal supporters Hi

197
00:18:52,640 --> 00:19:06,420
mate

198
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:15,699
And, of course, you know my husband,
Jim.

199
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,140
How do you do? Can I tempt you?

200
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,290
Oh, thank you.

201
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:22,510
We've driven up from Swindon this
morning.

202
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,360
What was the traffic like?

203
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,490
Very bad.

204
00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:29,620
Oh, would you care for another?

205
00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:31,230
Thank you.

206
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:37,599
The traffic was very bad the moment we
hit town. Yeah, it always is these days.

207
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:41,160
I think the... Here I am again.

208
00:19:42,831 --> 00:19:44,819
Thank you.

209
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,440
Can I have one, please?

210
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:48,280
I suppose so.

211
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:53,400
Excuse me. Rona, have you seen the
mobile phone?

212
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,680
No. Can you take over in the kitchen?

213
00:19:55,681 --> 00:19:56,899
Yes.

214
00:19:56,900 --> 00:20:01,380
You two look like a pair of soggy
underpants left on the line in the

215
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,980
There's one thing that really gets on my
tits. It's miserable salt.

216
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:19,190
watch these sausages and keep turning
them. I don't want them to stick.

217
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:23,110
Oh, she's right behind me.

218
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,140
I'll get her.

219
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,410
So, where's the phone?

220
00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:32,320
Oh, it must be under something. I'll
find it later.

221
00:21:35,131 --> 00:21:37,429
Sausages need pricking.

222
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:40,070
You mustn't prick sausages. They'll look
all messy.

223
00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:46,670
I'll be back in a minute.

224
00:21:49,630 --> 00:21:53,150
Can I help you?

225
00:21:53,490 --> 00:21:54,570
I'm looking for Jenny.

226
00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:01,000
Oh.

227
00:22:01,610 --> 00:22:02,660
It's you.

228
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:26,150
counter at home care.

229
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,280
I knew it would be.

230
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,939
Brian's building a combination wet bar
and showcase for his beer mats in the

231
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:35,990
gazebo.

232
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,620
I knew it'd be some silly man.

233
00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:27,840
better off not knowing.

234
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:32,059
under the first request from a lovely
lady called Rona. And she says, can I

235
00:24:32,060 --> 00:24:33,380
a sample of your sperm?

236
00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:15,760
together and when

237
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:45,890
Rubbish. David!

238
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,580
We'll unload the car tomorrow.

239
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:55,280
David! Turn that thing off unless you
want to see the stairway to heaven.

240
00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:57,390
Bummer, dude.

241
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,970
While you're up there, will you paint
the ceiling? What?

242
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,050
Nothing.

243
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,599
Is she on drugs or has he kissed her
again? Nothing you say or do is going to

244
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,400
upset me. That's a challenge I like.

245
00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:10,300
Where's your father?

246
00:27:10,420 --> 00:27:11,470
Haven't seen him.

247
00:27:11,471 --> 00:27:14,099
Do you know a deaf leopard drummer's got
no arms?

248
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:17,619
Really? I don't suppose your Auntie Tina
rang. I've been trying to get a hold of

249
00:27:17,620 --> 00:27:20,220
her. The phone man did come, but no one
away again.

250
00:27:21,420 --> 00:27:22,470
Oh, no!

251
00:27:30,140 --> 00:27:33,390
He's been fiddling with that bloody wire
and then I'll kill him!

252
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,770
Still a bath.

253
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,010
How'd it go?

254
00:27:39,790 --> 00:27:41,390
of something down here. Oh?

255
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How did they get there? Well, I can't
imagine.

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